Saturday, March 18, 2017

Heartbroken



It is with an extremely heavy heart that I write this post. Last night, we had the terribly difficult decision to have to put our beloved Midnight to sleep. It turned out that he did not have kidney disease, it was much, much worse than we ever thought a nightmare could be - the blood tests and x-rays showed that he was diagnosed with lymphoma. It spread so quickly that it had already affected his entire system, kidney's included, before we knew what was happening! 

He was not eating and he was so very weak. Our only other option would have been to try chemotherapy and he was far to weak to even think about that and I know from experience that cats and chemo DO NOT MIX - they do not respond well to it as dogs do. Perhaps because a cat's natural instinct is to hide their pain or weakness and so by the time we see any signs it is far too late to help them in many cases.


We are going to have him cremated as we have with all of our other fur babies and I have already ordered a gorgeous cat urn to place his ashes in when we get him back from the vet in a couple of weeks. It will have his name engraved with hearts and a personal inscription which says, "Mommy loves and misses you always!" ...



Losing him was by far the hardest thing I have ever had to go through emotionally and it never gets easier! In fact, it seems to get harder and harder each and every time I lose one of my beloved babies. I did something that I have never been able to do before and that was to stay with him while they put him under. I guess the only reason I was able to do that this time is because if I helped put my dying dad to rest peacefully (with the help of the hospice nurses) and was able to get through that, I can at least be there until the end for my beloved Midnight who was and always will be my heart and soul. I thank my dad for giving me the strength to do that. No one should ever have to die alone!

My sincere thanks to all of my dear friends who sent healing love and energy his way. It meant more to me than words can say.





MIDNIGHT'S SONG

Forever greets me at the door
Who could ever ask for more?
My cat, my friend, my beautiful boy
My heart, my furry pride and joy

Sent to me by Heaven above,
to fill my life with your sweet love
You give so much and ask for naught
Except our love for which you sought

Loving soul whose always there
Who likes to follow me everywhere
Precious feline, one of a kind
Another of whom I shall never find

~ Lady Caer Morganna

13 comments:

  1. Hugs, my dear, my heart aches for you and your beloved Midnight.

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  2. Dearest Kim, I am so sorry to hear this! I know that your fur babies are your children and that you love them as any mother loves her child.
    Being with Midnight until the end was hard for you I know. It is never easy to say good-bye...but Midnight knew you were there and that had to be a comfort for him.
    Your poem holds all of your love and sadness for Midnight. It is a beautiful tribute to his life with you.
    My deepest sympathy dear friend and love~

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    1. Jan, you always have such a wonderful way with words and know just what to say. Your words touch me deeply. Thank you so very much, my dear friend.

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  3. Well, i felt the same pain long ago. I never forgot my own cat familiar. I share your sadness about good ole Midnight. Since familiars are really "sent to us by Heaven above", i believe this poem of yours is absolutely right...

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    1. Perry, I know you understand and you loved your beautiful girl as well. Many hugs and thank you!!

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  4. I come to your site out of respect. I was away most of the day and just sat down to see what comments I have and was devastated by the news about Midnight. I am so sorry for your loss. Go outside and look up. Midnight's light is shining down on you from the stars. The breeze on your cheek is his face rubbing against yours. He has left behind his body and moved on to a new adventure. Nothing is ever truly lost. It just changes. I wish you peace dear sister.

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    1. Very eloquently said, Mohave Rat, I can think of no better way to say it. Your words are both comforting and beautiful!

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  5. Having lost our beloved Jewel in a very similar fashion not too long ago my heart aches with and for you. They wind their paws deep into our heart strings and take a piece of us with them when they go.

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    1. Elephant's Child, you are so very right. Thanks you so much for your kind and caring words. They are much appreciated!

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  6. Kim, I am so very, very sorry!! This breaks my heart! Sending you Big Hugs!! I remember when I had to put down my Falco. I actually didn't go, but my brother did and then brought him home in a blanket, so I could barrie him. These fur babies are our children and they will be forever with us! Much Love!

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  7. Oh dear friend I am really so sorry for this loss but hope you will come out of this pain by thinking that you tried your best to save him .
    Hope you will take good care of yourself. Dear.best wishes for each move you make ahead

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  8. Rest in Peace Midnight! may he come back to you all soon )0( BB

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