Sunday, April 07, 2024

A Season

"It's a season, and it will pass". That is what Chaplin Lugo from hospice told me on the telephone just two days before my mom passed away. She was right. She then asked me if I minded if she said a prayer with me and so we prayed to the Lord that He place her in his hands and help her to be where she needed to be now. 

She had been living at Mifflin Court Assisted Living since last June after her last detrimental fall at home which kept her in a wheelchair ever since. Despite the fact that the facility took excellent care of her, she still managed to fall several times while sitting in her wheelchair - mainly due to the fact that she refused to use her med alert pendant to ring for help. She would try to pick things up off of the floor and hit her head three times resulting in her being admitted into The Reading Hospital two of the three occasions. I had noticed her beginning to speak nonsense while at the hospital and demanded to know what medications they were giving her thinking that that was causing her to say things out of nowhere as if she were paranoid or having delusions. However, she would made sense the next day after speaking to her. 

The last time she was admitted into The Reading Hospital was in February where they sent her back to Mifflin Center -a rehab/nursing home (located directly aside of Mifflin Court). She spent time there last May after her first fall and then was supposed to finish her rehab at Mifflin Court where she ended up staying at their Assisted Living long-term there after. She received extensive rehab but she was far worst this time than the last. The prognosis was not good and the only option was to bring in hospice. She was in so much pain I remember her calling me on a Sunday night crying and begging for Oxycodone. They gave her the only pain meds they were allowed to but her knee locked up and refused to move! Her muscles were contracting and she was declining very quickly both physically and mentally.

I fought hard to get her back to Mifflin Court where she would be surrounded by pictures of my dad, her beloved dog, and other pictures she treasured so much. Mifflin Court agreed to let her come back with hospice and four days later she was gone. The last time I saw her was on Easter Sunday and I knew she was not going to make it much longer. I spoke to her hoping that somehow she could still hear me, but who knows? At 4am Monday morning (April Fool's Day) I received the phone call at home from hospice informing me that she had passed away. 

To be honest, this is just the beginning. Her money from her estate (the money from the sale of her home, etc.) is now being tied up in probate thanks to our esteemed government and State of Pennsylvania so I can no longer pay any of her bills after April 1st nor can I deposit anything into her account for her. Due to lack of money (she had no life insurance) and the fact that we have no family left, we decided to have her cremated. If her money ever gets released after the government is done with it, I would like to have her ashes buried with my dad. Her official cause of death was Adult Failure to Thrive.





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Mom and Dad sharing a dance at a wedding reception circa 1984.
Jitterbugging with my mom who was so good she made me look like I knew how to dance!
Easter dinner - 2019- Mother's Day dinner at "The Hitching Post" - 2018.





Her urn. I also ordered a silver locket with her finger print on it which will be sent to my house from the funeral home ...

In lieu of flowers, we asked that donations be made in my mom's name to The Animal Rescue League. These are the beautiful flowers we received for my mom at our house ...

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

5 comments:

  1. I am so sorry to hear your mom passed. The photos you posted of her are such lovely memories. Such treasures to have photos of her when she was young. She was very beautiful. I'm sure her memory will bring you comfort.

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  2. Reading this makes me sad yet I know Shes at peace and with your dad.!! I know the suffering is over but it a very hard thing to endure the passing of your parents.! I know this too well! It has never been the same with us! I did talk to her there and I knew it wouldn't be long! i am really sorry the way this happened and was handled.!

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  3. This is such a beautiful and touching post, Kim. I don't think there is anything more difficult and traumatic to go through than the loss of a parent. Time is supposed to heal wounds, but no amount of time can ever expunge the pain and emptiness.
    You did everything possible for your mother and she knows how much you loved her. I'm glad her few final days were at Mifflin Court. She is at peace now, and will be with you in spirit and memories. I love all the photos you posted.
    You're in my thoughts with hugs.

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  4. BTW - - my parents didn't have life insurance, either, and I had both of them cremated.

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    1. There is nothing wrong with it as far as I am concerned. Her urn with her ashes in it will be with us at our house and eventually if I am able I will have her ashes in with my dad's coffin. The funeral home said that they can take care of that at anytime. It was actually the funeral directors suggestion.

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