It is with an extremely heavy heart that I write this post. Last night, we had the terribly difficult decision to have to put our beloved Midnight to sleep. It turned out that he did not have kidney disease, it was much, much worse than we ever thought a nightmare could be - the blood tests and x-rays showed that he was diagnosed with lymphoma. It spread so quickly that it had already affected his entire system, kidney's included, before we knew what was happening!
He was not eating and he was so very weak. Our only other option would have been to try chemotherapy and he was far to weak to even think about that and I know from experience that cats and chemo DO NOT MIX - they do not respond well to it as dogs do. Perhaps because a cat's natural instinct is to hide their pain or weakness and so by the time we see any signs it is far too late to help them in many cases.
We are going to have him cremated as we have with all of our other fur babies and I have already ordered a gorgeous cat urn to place his ashes in when we get him back from the vet in a couple of weeks. It will have his name engraved with hearts and a personal inscription which says, "Mommy loves and misses you always!" ...
Losing him was by far the hardest thing I have ever had to go through emotionally and it never gets easier! In fact, it seems to get harder and harder each and every time I lose one of my beloved babies. I did something that I have never been able to do before and that was to stay with him while they put him under. I guess the only reason I was able to do that this time is because if I helped put my dying dad to rest peacefully (with the help of the hospice nurses) and was able to get through that, I can at least be there until the end for my beloved Midnight who was and always will be my heart and soul. I thank my dad for giving me the strength to do that. No one should ever have to die alone!
My sincere thanks to all of my dear friends who sent healing love and energy his way. It meant more to me than words can say.
MIDNIGHT'S SONG
Forever greets me at the door
Who could ever ask for more?
My cat, my friend, my beautiful boy
My heart, my furry pride and joy
Sent to me by Heaven above,
to fill my life with your sweet love
You give so much and ask for naught
Except our love for which you sought
Loving soul whose always there
Who likes to follow me everywhere
Precious feline, one of a kind
Another of whom I shall never find
~ Lady Caer Morganna
