Yup I know, but at this point that is exactly what I feel like doing. As hard as I try, it just seems as though life continues to get more challenging. It gets harder and harder to deal with the things you can not control - things that are happening around you and in your life.
I am not one to feel sorry for myself, nor am I someone who talks about a lot of personal things as I realize that everyone has their own problems to contend with in their own lives. However, I am now at a crossroads where I am still struggling to find a job to pay our bills so that we do not lose our home (and quite possibly our fur babies as well), I am constantly trying to juggle taking care of my own mother and my sanity, and now I need to deal with yet another difficult issue - my MIL.
I can not get into all of it here, but the short version of the story is that she had been going down hill mentally after my father-in-law got very ill and has only gotten much worse since his death. She has taken up drinking heavily (the hard stuff - vodka of all things!) and taking bad falls because of it. She gets inebriated and pops her bad hip out of joint, etc. Recently, she got drunk and fell down on her head and has a bad lump from it. We spent the night in the emergency room last Friday night and spoke yet again to the doctors about her drinking problem which, of course, she denies having. We have spoken to her numerous times about getting grief counseling, but she refuses. We are at our wits end with the situation. Every time she takes a fall (which she causes by what she is doing to herself) it takes a medical and physical toll on her body. So far, she has had four hip surgeries and they gave her physical therapy at home. I fear that if she does not stop her drinking, one of these days the doctors will not be able to help her anymore ... or worse.
We have tried everything you can think of to help her, but to no avail. We are going to try one more intervention today and pray for the best. I love her dearly and I worry so much about everything. Please keep her in your thoughts, friends.
My Dear Kim,
ReplyDeleteI am truly sorry to hear about your financial worries and about your dear MIL. Each can cause great concern and worry for you. Depression is such a serious problem and very hard to deal with on its own. When you must add to it financial problems life becomes more complicated.
I am not at all good at handling my own situations without feeling overwhelmed. But I want you to know that I will be here for you if you need someone to talk to.
Sometimes you just need to talk about where your thoughts are. Do not hold in you tears...they are a release for all of the tension that builds up inside of us.
I wish you peace and love. I will be praying that you get a job soon. I will be praying for your dear MIL, too.
Hugs and Much ❤❤❤
Thank you, Jan. I really do appreciate your kindness. Much love to you always!
DeleteOh, my Lady, I so understand the difficulty you are having with Elders. I'm going to take the liberty of emailing you what happened in my own situation. Maybe it will help with yours.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, CJ. I truly appreciate that. I will look for your email. Again, thank you.
DeleteI am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I totally understand the difficulty with your MIL. As a retired substance abuse counselor I can tell you that no matter how many falls, how many hospitalizations, she is not going to stop drinking unless SHE wants to do it. Alcoholism is an insidious disease. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to email me.
ReplyDeleteMany thanks, Mary. I knew that you would understand the complications to this sort of situation as a retried abuse counselor with years of experience on the subject. I know that only SHE can agree to get psychological help and no one can force her to do anything she does not wish to. We are still not sure if it is a matter of actual alcoholism or that she just does not care anymore what happens to her. Perhaps a little of both?
DeleteI am so sorry to read this post, but sharing things like this can and does so often help.
ReplyDeleteI send positive thoughts and good wishes to you, and I do hope you can overcome one step at a time.
My good wishes.
All the best Jan
Many thanks, Jan. :)
DeleteHugs, my dear. Been there; done that, with both sets of parents (mine and his). All I can give you is the assurance that "This too shall pass." I didn't handle any of it overly gracefully as hard as I tried and as much as the family on either side thought I was. You have my sympathy.
ReplyDeleteThe biggest help for me was to count my blessing every night. Going through the list; today, I still have a roof over my head... I even said a prayer of thanksgiving for my problems, without problems, I would be on the other side. (Yup, I was desperate to find a positive.) I, also, started asking for solutions while I was asleep. I'm always amazed at the ideas I wake up with or insights, that is, when I remember to ask.
Another hug, and I will say some prayers for you and your family.
Thank you, Judy. I really appreciate it. :)
DeleteClearly the vodka is not helping mobility or coordination. As one who has tried various stabilizers (alcohol and beyond), I can only recommend pharmaceuticals --like Sertraline and Ativan-- in conjunction with cognitive and/or hypno therapy. Main thing is to consult a competent physician and find a good therapist. All my best to you and your mother-in-law.
ReplyDeleteKim, I am so sorry about everything!!! I agree with what Mary said. You can be there for your MIL, but you have to take care of you! I know that might sound selfish, but you have to. Sending you BIG HUGS! You are in my prayers! I truly hope everything starts to turn around!
ReplyDeleteKim, it saddens me my friend to hear what you're going through, I wish only good things to come your way!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words, Lon. I wish you the same!
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